Santa told to slim down for Christmas to 'set a good example'
This is not a joke.
Bluewater shopping centre in Greenhithe, Kent, has even gone one step further and set-up a Santa boot camp.
Fiona Campbell-Reilly, spokeswoman at the shopping centre, said: "Santa has been around for years, but society has changed and our Santa needs to reflect this.
"Bluewater's Santa Boot Camp is getting Santa in shape and setting a good example to children who idolise him.
"He will still be the same lovable jolly man, but will be fitter and healthier."
"Eat, Papa, eat. Nobody likes a skinny Santa."
Turns out that exchange has been reworded to mollify PC bullies. According to John Aravosis, a number of sites complained that the line promoted bulimia.
Coming soon: a black, bisexual Easter Bunny. I mean, a black, bisexual Spring Bunny.