ATLmalcontent

memo to obama's celebrity supporters: please shut up

The "Yes We Can" song was bad enough. Halle Berry wasn't in the video, but the occasional actress is determined to prove she's a bigger Obamamaniac than Scarlett Johansson:

"I'll do whatever he says to do. I'll collect paper cups off the ground to make his pathway clear."

Not to be outdone, Clinton backer Barbra Streisand said she'd instruct others to collect paper cups off the ground to make Hillary's pathway clear.

sullen white hipsters for obama

The godawful celebrity sing along in support of Obama brings to mind one of the silliest campaigns in American history.

Most Obnoxious Celebrity Quote of the Year

What a pisser:

"My greatest competition is, well, me . . . I'm the Ali of today. I'm the Marvin Gaye of today. I'm the Bob Marley of today. I'm the Martin Luther King, or all the other greats that have come before us. And a lot of people are starting to realize that now."

--R. Kelly, finally heading to court to face a series of child porn charges. Somehow, the alleged pedophile and watersports enthusiast remains a popular figure.

Cap Du Jour

Once upon a time, Prince was considered the weird one; MJ was the establishment's choice. Now Prince is headlining halftime shows at Super Bowls. As for Jackson ...

What Would You Expect From Someone Who Married Ethan Hawke?

Sounds like Uma Thurman read one too many of her ex-husband's overheated tomes:

"Of course he's sexy," she said. "He seems to be flourishing and following his calling. It's just the most enviable thing in the world, like watching a beautiful racehorse run."

To whom is Uma referring? Manbearpig, natch. 

But Cha AAH (Not), Blanche

I've had it with cute young celebrities wishing they were gay. I don't go around wishing I was straight. It's patronizing, and it's more than a wee bit calculated.

“I would never come out and say I’m gay, because I’m not gay. There’s part of me that kind of wishes I was gay, and I think that comes from anybody constantly wishing they were in the minority and constantly wants to be fighting everybody off.”

That from noted outsider Pete Wentz, boyfriend of Ashlee Simpson and guitarist for Top 40 mainstay Fall Out Boy. Could it be that he's merely trying to cultivate press (and gay fans)?

Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine sounds similarly opportunistic:

No, I’m not into dick. I wish I were. It would be so much easier.

I'm glad it's suddenly cool to be gay, but being something you're not is always unhip (see: Disney University graduate Justin Timberlake talking ghetto).

I'm Waiting for Rip Taylor's Endorsement

No surprise that Hillbot has Babs on her side. But Fabio?

"She's so smart," he says. "And with her, you're getting two with one. You know I love women, because I owe my success to women. To me, it will be the biggest reward. I would love for the first time to have a woman president."

And with Hillary in charge, he says, the Iraqi insurgents better watch out. "When a woman gets pissed off at you," he says, "she's going to get you, you know?"

The Smarmiest Man Alive

A crowded field, but in the end it's no contest. Listen to his sex tape, if you dare.

Rhymes With Rich

Heather Mills McCartney, who is reportedly seeking millions of dollars in her breakup with Paul McCartney, denounced the world's rich as misers and snobs Wednesday. ...

"These people who have lots of money, they're either snobby or they're stingy. If you have lots of money, you have to be stingy — because why would you want that amount of money?"

Mills McCartney is seeking $100 million from her husband. Does that make her snobby or stingy? I'd guess both.

Finally, a Valid Reason Not To Like Will Smith

Besides the fact that his movies suck. Same with his music. And there's his slick, media-approved, family-friendly, focus grouped "hipness."

No doubt that appeals to the Church of Scientology, which appears to have nabbed a new recruit:

“I’ve studied Buddhism and Hinduism, and I’ve studied Scientology through Tom [Cruise]. Ninety-eight percent of the principles [in Scientology] are identical to the principles of the Bible. . . . I don’t think that because the word someone uses for spirit is ‘thetan’ that the definition becomes any different.”

Word!

The rest of the article is similarly gag-worthy:

Remember, this is the Willenium, and you're just living in it. Whether the camera's rolling or not, whether he's getting jiggy or getting real, the 39-year-old Smith exudes the same appeal—an organic hyper-likability that has helped make him the most bankable star in the world, surpassing even Pitt, Clooney, and those white dudes named Tom. With Smith's last four movies—The Pursuit of Happyness, Hitch, Shark Tale, and I, Robot—each grossing over $300 million, and his total worldwide box office topping $4.4 billion, he is as sure a thing in Hollywood as celebrity DUIs, Botox, and paternity suits. Not that you'd ever find him indulging in all that. "I've never met anybody at that place who is as grounded and non–full of bullshit," Theron attests. "I don't say this kind of stuff about people, but he's godly."

No, he's Xenuian.