Smackdown

A bitch fight between two queens may be tiresome, but in this case I think it's instructive. And, of course, I can never resist a little righteous indignation.

Duane -- I only link those who have something constructive to say, sorry for the breach of "net-tiquette" -- continues to insist I hate myself, mainly because I don't like what he likes and dare criticize a movement that's grown stale.

but by condemning what we do have and what we do currently do (such as pride), that sends a message of self loathing. Sorry, but it does. If he isn't a self loather, and actually does not have a problem with the gay movement being filled with many nuances (even if some are "unsavory"), then that is fine; it just wasn't what was portrayed.

An event like pride may have political ramifications, but it is meant to be a celebration of ones identity and pride within themselves; sometimes, that means letting it all hang out, for worse or for the better. I just see the condemning of that (especially if you are gay yourself) as self loathing... forgive me.

(First off, maybe you should look up the definition of nuance, because you apparently have a problem recognizing it.)

Look, I apologize for not owning a Madonna album ... am I not allowed in your club? That's fine, but I'm not concerned with the petty queer establishment. I came to terms with that long ago.

I remember driving down to the Tara theater to see "Torch Song Trilogy," as I was gay and it was a movie about gays (a rare thing at the time). I looked for some security, but instead found distance. I didn't want to be a screaming queen. I'm not flamboyant. I don't cry a lot. I don't feel the need to start every sentence with "As a gay person ..."

And I'm not alone. Many gay kids are kept in the closet because they don't welcome the "Stepford Fags" archetype that awaits them, the one that listens to the same music, goes to the same gym and idolizes the same washed-up hags.

Criticize me for being contrarian, or even malcontented ... that's fair. But you've gone way too far with the self-loathing tag.

Now I suppose if I showed up at Pride today in my tighty-whiteys, then I'd be okay with me (by your way of thinking). Strange logic.

Wearing your undies in public doesn't make you proud or brave ... it makes you an exhibitionist who obviously didn't get enough attention as a child. I'd say that about a straight person running around in cock huggers, as well. Why not hold ourselves to a higher standard?

And what is this gay culture you speak of? Regrettably, it's become nothing more than a fulfillment of stereotypes created (mainly) by straight people. They're comfortable with the nelly queen, a la Jack on "Will and Grace." It's non-threatening. A gay person who challenges that orthodoxy is somehow unsettling ... and apparently you share that conviction.

Does Chris Rock hate himself because he takes on the African-American community? I think not. I wouldn't dare compare myself to Rock, but my mission is similar.

Maybe you should read my blog more thoroughly. I've dedicated plenty of space to the plight of homosexuals around the world (on an almost weekly basis). Sure, I'm plenty critical of our community here at home, but I see it as filling a void that desperately needs to be filled.

Be Pavlov's dog all you want, I could care less. But don't belittle those of us who want more.

Now go get your pride on, bitch!

Comments

[norma]

Points well made, Malcontent. Isn't there room under the gay umbrella for those who are not musical theatre enthusiasts or otherwise sitcom-stereotypical? "As a straight woman" with a lifelong gay male best friend, I don't think that sexual orientation necessarily needs to be the first adjective with which a person describes himself or herself. It's an important and integral quality, and one of which a person should never be ashamed...but perhaps not the facet by which we primarily define ourselves. You don't fit "the mold" of what typically is emphasized at pride events; does that make you any "less" gay or less a part of the community? I don't think so. You're an intelligent person living your life in a way that makes you happy; you don't have to bow to convention or put on an act that's not really "you" to prove yourself as a gay man. Just my two cents... : )

[atlmalcontent]

Thanks Norma (and welcome back). I appreciate your backing. Not to feel sorry for myself, but it's a real bitch being a gay contrarian. I was worried I might've gone too far, but what the hell, I'm just playing defense (after the self-loathing card was dealt, the gloves were off).

[atlmalcontent]

As an addendum, I think I've bashed "straight" culture plenty, too. So I guess that makes me a self-loathing, hetero-hating homo.

[norma]

It's a bitch being an cynical, educated intelligent stay-at-hom-mom sometimes, too. ; ) And there is plenty to bash about pretty much any culture -- straight, gay, ethnic, religious, etc. ; ) Recognizing your own weaknesses and flaws, I think -- and then either accepting or improving them -- is the key to happiness.

[Aradia]

Right the Fuck ON, Mal!