Malcontent correspondent Markie Post, that is. For those new to the site, "Markie" is an old friend and colleague who was given the moniker in honor of the female mullet she wore when we first met. She's also a helluva writer, as evidenced by the following essay, reprinted from "Brightleaf: A Journal of Southern Writing."
The Naked and the Nekkid
SOMEWHERE IN GEORGIA MOUNTAINS – Persuading a nudist to accessorize can be like putting pantyhose on a cat, but certain occasions demand an article or two of clothing. Hoedowns, for example, just sound better in boots than in bare feet. So members of Serendipity nudist park don clodhoppers and Stetsons – and bolo ties on a few otherwise bare chests – for country-western night. There is much hat-tipping, and the dance floor becomes a demonstration of high-energy, synchronized jiggling as the nudists line-dance. An occasional Rebel yell punctuates the fiddle music.
You won’t find such events at sedate resorts up North or on the West Coast; this is nudism in the South, where the men boldly eschew aprons at the barbecue grill. These revelers are just so down-home and hospitable, that I and most other first-time visitors disrobe simply out of politeness.
City folk might be incredulous that Baptist deacons and hillbilly lawmen permit four nudist communities to thrive in the north Georgia mountains, but don’t underestimate Appalachian laissez-faire. Here, everyone subscribes to the Highlander ethic, which dictates that you can do whatever you dang-well please on your own land without the interference of zoning boards and aestheticism enforcers who might object to nude line-dancing.
Besides, a lifestyle labeled “naturist” seems redundant in the rural South, where most of us grew up skinny-dipping under a brimstone sun. We don’t need to go “back to the land,” in a phrase favored by eco-warriors; we’re already there. Coming of age on a farm also takes much of the embarrassment out of biology. “Parts is parts,” as my granny says.
Another cultural quirk of this place, I am reminded, is a tendency toward evangelism. Nudists, like preachers, grow zealous when they discuss their conversion experiences. In body acceptance, they found redemption and, consequently, a mission. Many quote the Bible and proselytize for both causes at the same time: “I’m a born-again Christian believer and love the Savior with all my heart, and there is nothing about this lifestyle that contradicts the Scripture,” one naked man earnestly testifies to me.
However, in a region where traditional sex roles often approach caricature, nudism adds another wrinkle, so to speak, to male-female relations. At this camp, a strange courtliness prevails, despite all the talk about liberation from convention. Cavaliers understand the importance of good manners: no ogling or lewd remarks (at least not audible ones). More interesting, though, is that much-prized virility becomes inverted into an issue of hydraulic “self-control” instead of tumescent showing off. An erection is a telltale sign of a “textile,” a slur for the clothing-dependent. “Poor bastard can’t get it down,” other male nudists will say, with a snort. Yet, because the South so esteems pulchritude, gents still feel obligated to acknowledge the sight of it with some sort of compliment. Indeed, they should. We gals aren’t worried that men might stare; we worry that they might not.
And, as always, there is that old semantic issue unique to this region. The word “naked” is taboo in nudist circles because it connotes vulnerability, but no Southerner can resist the word “nekkid.” One fellow explains that he is teaching a nude wood-working class for women. “Yep,” he drawls, “A redneck’s dream come true: nekkid wimmin with power tools!”
Praise the Lord, and pass the sunscreen.
Good stuff, Markie, good stuff.
Posted by: rowland | 2006.07.21 at 05:31 PM
Thanks, Rowland. Frogtown is always a-jumping!
Posted by: Markie Post | 2006.07.21 at 06:01 PM
I had no idea that Markie Post was also a writer. Seems enough that she is a great actor and very actractive at that. Thanks for the interesting essay.
Posted by: George | 2006.12.01 at 05:14 PM
what part of your hott body u say guys like best? size are ya tits? u loud during sex? fav position for sex?
Posted by: poolplayingdude03 | 2007.10.23 at 08:38 PM
Posted by: Tvinseges | 2007.11.15 at 07:43 PM
Posted by: Lvinaiges | 2007.11.19 at 12:44 PM
Posted by: ArticxSaw | 2007.11.30 at 05:39 PM
The online pharmacy no prescription phrase works on two distinct planes; the internet and non prescription medication. But, we are fusing the phrase so that it means something and we can use the constituent parts of the phrase to create an idea. The concept of “online pharmacy no prescription” is designed for the purpose of providing medication over the internet (online) for all those people all over the world who are in dire need of suitable medication at reasonable prices, which is exactly the reason behind generic meds.
Posted by: Online Pharmacy no Prescription | 2009.05.19 at 04:47 PM
And, as always, there is that old semantic issue unique to this region
Posted by: Online Pharmacy | 2009.08.11 at 11:46 AM
Another cultural quirk of this place, I am reminded, is a tendency toward evangelism.
Posted by: Online Pharmacy | 2009.08.12 at 10:02 AM
great information, you have a wonderful blog and an excellent article!!
Debra M. Alford
Posted by: Viagra Online | 2009.09.25 at 01:43 PM
Many quote the Bible and proselytize for both causes at the same time: “I’m a born-again Christian believer and love the Savior with all my heart, and there is nothing about this lifestyle that contradicts the Scripture,” one naked man earnestly testifies to me.
Posted by: Dating Younger Women | 2009.10.23 at 05:47 PM
Interesting blog,I really liked it.
Posted by: Dental Phobia | 2009.10.26 at 05:56 PM
All Markies that I know are always a little crazy like this one.
Posted by: Teeth Whitening | 2009.10.30 at 10:11 AM
Your post gives me a little hope in this theme thank you.
Posted by: Catalog Shopping | 2009.11.02 at 11:42 AM
Being a nudist is nothing from the other world, only people who need to attention practice this.
Posted by: Home Care | 2009.11.02 at 02:29 PM
The word “naked” is taboo in nudist circles because it connotes vulnerability, but no Southerner can resist the word “nekkid
Posted by: Cheap Online Pharmacies | 2009.11.04 at 06:22 PM
Markie, always with these mysterious decisions ... I wonder whats going on with it
Posted by: Cialis | 2009.11.05 at 02:23 PM
see Markie naked .... that sounds too twisted to me, sometimes your words are very nasty.
Posted by: Kamagra | 2009.11.06 at 09:06 AM
Nice blog Markie, I enjoyed reading!
Posted by: Libido Food | 2009.11.09 at 03:12 PM
Congratulations Markie, you are great!
Posted by: Order Viagra | 2009.11.11 at 02:44 PM
I can't imagine your rhetoric against a nudist. hahaha.
Posted by: Order Cialis | 2009.11.12 at 05:03 PM
Great post I enjoyed it a lot is very different.
Posted by: Viagra Prescription | 2009.11.17 at 09:34 AM
Nice post I enjoyed a lot is so nice.
Posted by: Best Pharmacy | 2009.11.18 at 08:31 AM
The Malcontent ? are you talking about the gay blog ?
Posted by: Buy Sildenafil | 2009.11.19 at 04:09 PM