Smug alert

What's a bigger threat to the planet: global warming or those who advocate against it?

Don't get me wrong, I'm a believer, but I wouldn't want to get within 50 carbon footprints of the "Stop Global Warming Tour," headlined by Sheryl Crow and Laurie (wife of Larry) David, otherwise known as Shrill and Shriller.

Some excerpts from their Biodiesel Bus Blog:

Crow (4/19, Springfield, Tenn.): I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.

Does Sheryl not go Number Two? I don't know how anyone finishes that business with only one square. Must we forsake cleanliness?

Crow (4/19): I also like the idea of not using paper napkins, which happen to be made from virgin wood and represent the height of wastefulness. I have designed a clothing line that has what's called a "dining sleeve." The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve," after usage. The design will offer the "diner" the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product. I think this idea could also translate quite well to those suffering with an annoying head cold.

Coming soon: the Abercrombie and Fitch dining sleeve.

David (4/20, Charlottesville): Tonight, I spoke outside the gorgeous Charlottesville pavilion, in front of a couple of thousand slightly inebriated college men (there to see the wonderful Robert Randolph and the Family Band) who were forced to sit through the opening act . . . me. Truly, it was one of the most challenging 20 minutes of my life. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw guys yawning, I heard kids saying "where's the music?" and I think I heard the "b" word. I rushed through the speech and when I walked off the stage I immediately burst into tears. Not because I took anything personally but because it was so clear how much work is still to be done. Tonight served as a stark reminder that social change is a journey and I learned tonight that not every stop is going to be easy.

One day we'll live in a world where people will prefer lecturing to live music. Until then, I must persevere. So hard, so overwhelming, yet I must.

Comments

[norma]

I went to one of those medieval themed fairs one time (like on the Simpsons, when Lisa saw her future) -- I think someone should tell Ms. Crow that the dining sleeve was invented about 600 years ago.

[Steve]

I used to like her. The more she opens her mouth, however, the more I think she's just another nutjob.

[Erik]

One square of TP only works if you eat hemp, tree bark, and sand on a regular basis.

Honestly, that is the stupidest thing I've read on the interweb in recent months and no I'm not kidding.