Two for Tuesday

Continuing today's theme -- bashing untrustworthy, pandering automatons -- I return my attention to The Anchorman, whose new national security adviser is an enthusiastic supporter of torture.

In announcing the appointment of Marks, the Romney campaign put out a press release emphasizing his "more than three decades of experience in the intelligence field." But according to CNN, Marks also is a teacher of "interrogation.

Romney's calculation (every move The Anchorman makes is calculated): Christian conservatives support torture. I need Christian conservatives. Thus I'm going to be the standard bearer for torture, er, enhanced interrogation techniques.

Romney has already said he'd "double Guantanamo." His spokesman said that while the former Massachusetts governor opposes torture, he supports the euphemism.

Even if it doesn't really work, as his new national security adviser James "Spider" Marks has suggested. But that's no reason not to use it:

FOREMAN: ...So in your experience and in your view, torture as a policy should be against the law?

MARKS: True.

FOREMAN: And yet, we might still have to use it.

MARKS: True.

To summarize, Mitt Romney is for torture even though he's against it.