ATLmalcontent

musings by doyle harcavy

The Malcontent is pleased to welcome a new contributor, Doyle Harcavy, best known as the longtime musings columnist for The Arlen Bystander.

Hello, friends.

This election business is something else, I tell you. How about some of the names of these people. Mitt? Barack? And I thought Doyle was a little unusual.

Mrs. Harcavy and I were watching some of the coverage last night, and when they showed that Romney fellow and that Hillary speaking, why the Missus was snoring so she sounded like my old Snapper lawn mower. Now, I'm no political soothsayer, mind you, but at least I want someone to keep me awake.

Speaking of funny names, how's a fellow to get a name like Wolf? Is he a Shawnee or something? Just wondering.

I hear the government's going to send us all some money in the mail. Economic stimulus package, they call it. Now, this is a little naughty, I'll warn you. But how's about they call it Economic Viagra? Sorry, ladies.

I see where one of those fellows in the Georgia state legislature wants to let me take my gun to church. As long as that preacher goes on sometimes, I just might need it.

I tell you what, if I knew people would pay $2 for a bottle full of water, I woulda been stocking up on bottles a long time ago and filling em up in my sink.

They say they got a riders strike in Hollywood. Is that how come they don't make westerns anymore? Just wondering.

See y'all at Piccadilly. And get out and move around some. It's good for the bowels.

Shill of the Year

The winner, hands down: conservative proselytizer Hugh Hewitt. To Hewitt, there is but one descendant of God (er, Joseph Smith):

Mitt Romney's "Faith in America" speech was simply magnificent, and anyone who denies it is not to be trusted as an analyst.  On every level it was a masterpiece.  The staging and Romney's delivery, the eclipse of all other candidates it caused, the domination of the news cycle just prior to the start of absentee voting in New Hampshire on Monday --for all these reasons and more it will be long discussed as a masterpiece of political maneuver.

Is it possible for someone to feel so passionately about The Anchorman? I'd sooner defend Kenny G.

(Ad hominem alert: Doesn't Hewitt's smug mug just scream douchebag? Welcome to Mitt Romney's America.)

It's Not "Best Person" of the Year

It happens every time TIME names a controversial figure as its "Person of the Year."

Hitler, Stalin and Khomeni were previous winners. The magazine wasn't celebrating their humanity, rather their influence -- for better or worse -- on the rest of the world. Putin's selection makes sense. He's returned Russia to an autocracy, with massive public approval. The former Soviet Union is once again a global player.

Of course, literalists like Mitt Romney don't get it. Actually, he probably does, but why not score some cheap political points by blasting the press?

And to suggest that someone like that is the man of the year is really disgusting. I'm just appalled. ... Our mainstream media I think has just showed its hand.

*Blowhard Hugh Hewitt thinks Gen. Petraeus should've won, and he was definitely a worthy candidate, but not because the war is over, as the Romney shill declares:

Victory is a wonderful thing, and they have brought Iraq and its allies victory.

Today's Must-Read

The Plank's Michelle Cottle sounds off on the war against intelligence.

On the way, I passed this United Methodist church with a sign out front boldly proclaiming:

Experts built the Titanic.

Amateurs Built the Ark.

Whatever your thoughts on biblical literalism, this is a tiresome sign of the times and, specifically, this culture's widespread antipathy toward expertise--an antipathy that a certain breed of bash-the-establishment politician has long promoted, and which the current administration has done everything it can to fuel. ...

When did our overabundance of attitude morph into some bizarre conviction that anyone with a specialized base of knowledge is automatically a buffoon and not to be trusted?

I just hope the church's minister remembers his love of amateurs the next time he needs a root canal.

"Our Film Critic Is Roger Ebert"

For an in-depth analysis on the makeover at 72 Marietta St., check out the latest issue of Columbia Journalism Review, available online.

Best that I withhold comment.

Ever Shit an 8-Point Buck?

Thanks to Al Kosa for passing along this gem of community journalism from Hank Hill country. Notice the cutlines under the photos:

Headline du jour

A new low for Matt Drudge?

THE MAN THE MEDIA MURDERED: Richard Jewell Dead...

Actually, it was diabetes that killed Jewell. No doubt he was victimized by overzealous cops and sloppy journalism, but neither had anything to do with his death.

Never offend a Muslim (cont'd)

Yet another spineless concession by the American media:

The Washington Post and several other newspapers around the country did not run Sunday's installment of Berkeley Breathed's "Opus," in which the spiritual fad-seeking character Lola Granola appears in a headscarf and explains to her boyfriend, Steve, why she wants to become a radical Islamist. ...

Sources told FOXNews.com that the strips were shown to Muslim staffers at The Washington Post to gauge their reaction, and they responded "emotionally" to the depiction of a woman dressed in traditional Muslim garb and espousing conservative Islamic views.

Nothing like journalists quashing free speech. And, pardon my insensitivity, but I'm beyond weary of Mulsims responding "emotionally." How about responding maturely for a change?

Headline du jour

100-year-old celebrates her birthday by smoking 170,000th cigarette

Have that woman arrested at once!

Headline du jour

(via Fresh Loaf)